Article by Benjamin Leppier
Self esteem is of course based on perception, as is most of life!
Every element of the psyche contributes to self esteem, from present day to childhood, once again as I suggest in most of my blogs, your inherent or natural level of self esteem is first determined by your parents levels of self esteem, they will be passed onto you directly, there is no mathematical solution, if Dads esteem was a 3/10 and mums was a 2/10 then yours isn’t 5, the chances are it would be somewhere in between, say 2.5/10. This number will increase or decrease dependant on your life experiences from birth.
Levels of self esteem then comprise of nature and nurture, but also the way that you treat yourself every single day has an impact to either increase or decrease your current level of self esteem. Obviously others can have an impact on your self esteem, for example, you may be bullied at work or at school perhaps even at home; criticism of any kind is difficult to deal with but especially for people with low self esteem. However, fear not: if you have a relatively LOW level of self esteem then all is not lost. If I describe the difference between promoting and encouraging a happy positive state of mind and high level of self esteem you may be able to use some of it to incorporate into your everyday life, however small the change, the impact on your mind is monstrous.
It all starts from the night before, if you have had a rubbish un-motivating day at work and you have to go to work the next day to a job that you don’t like, then the chances are you wont sleep so well, and your mood before going to bed will dictate your sleep pattern and ultimately dictate your mood when you wake.
I have to be more specific in terms of the changes to make if changing jobs or removing bullies is outside of your immediate control, there are things you can do about that as well, send me an e-mail.
I strongly believe that your state of mind completely dictates the way you feel, but if you do wake up and you aren’t feeling so great, there are some small things for you to do which will promote that feeling of positivity and happiness:
Body language and self presentation are inextricably linked; the two go hand in hand, you rarely find very well dressed people who demonstrate an unconfident body language and the flip is also true, you rarely find confident people, with a solid confident body language dressed in shabby clothes, I am making the link obvious, but to encourage an increase in self esteem, you need to do both I’m afraid, the difference between a confident posture and an average posture, Tony Robbins says is only 2mm, illustrated by the example below:
OK, so even if you are in the house all day the next day, working from home or looking after the kids, you MUST make an effort to dress well, its NOT that people frown upon well dressed people, they do that because you frown upon yourself and consider “what’s the point if I’m not going anywhere?” well we’re talking about raising levels of self esteem! When you shine on the inside, then you shine on the outside, beauty comes from within, its so true!
Get your clothes ready the night before! Preparation leads to success and when we succeed it breeds even more confidence and higher self esteem. In summary you have chosen to wear something that you KNOW will make you feel good the next day, you don’t want circumstances to dictate your mood the next day, we want complete control of our state of mind!
Even if your mood is not great read something to relax and/or inspire you before bed.
When your alarm goes off………….GET UP! DON’T SNOOZE you don’t need to! Life is not a rehearsal for another; get out of bed and on with your day, Carpe diem!
Shower, hot water, shave legs (my female friends tell me that makes them feel good, men….the choice is yours) although nobody would feel your legs, that is not the point!
SING YOUR ASS OFF whilst showering and think about the results that YOU DO WANT to achieve that day, not what you don’t want, the shower is an easy place to let your mind wander, don’t let it.
Get some music on after showering, dance and sing, check yourself in the mirror and say NICE things! Start as you mean to go on! SMILE and SMILE and SMILE, why are you always asked to smile in a photograph, because you are always at your best!
Even if it feels weird getting up and doing your make up girls even if you are staying home, every time you glance at the mirror the mirror will tend to smile back.
When you get dressed, YOU KNOW already that you will look good
Dry hair and put make up on, as you have done so much already, the make up and final touches are literally final touches, the book the night before, a decent sleep and singing and dancing and SMILING will make you feel great.
People generally have the highest self esteem, when they are happy, even if you aren’t, lie and pretend you are, chin up shoulders back pearly whites – say cheese!
50 minutes to 1 hour to get ready, sets the trend for the state of mind, I was told today, for women especially, as taking this time on yourself to make yourself look the way you deserve to look has a resounding impact on your mind the message says……………..I AM WORTH IT!
Then roll with the day, always try to end your day on a high, DON’T watch negative television before bed, why not even pride yourself on the great things that you have done that day????!!!???? Be careful though you wouldnt want to build your self esteem too quickly now would you…http://benjaminleppier.com
Levels of self esteem then comprise of nature and nurture, but also the way that you treat yourself every single day has an impact to either increase or decrease your current level of self esteem.However, fear not: if you have a relatively LOW level of self esteem then all is not lost.
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